I want to remember

I want to remember only the positive times. Because the negative can be chalked up to learning experience. Negative turns on a dim bulb in a shadowy room. I love bright lights and sunshine. Negative is not my forte.

I want to remember the rose-tinted times. I feel blessed to have a happy life. Yes, there were ups and downs- like everyone and anyone else. Overall I was spared the traumas which often define folks lives. I understand the importance of trauma- the world is often cruel and unfair. There is poverty, violence, war, abuse, criminality, pain. I feel I have skirted around the edges, not been sucked into the whirlpool.

I want to remember different phases of life- because they are so different and singularly unique. I do not dwell on the past. I do not want to be 16 again or 30 again or 10 again. That time was wonderful but in reality, it is the present that really matters. All the memories, all the experiences are in my backpack. They have helped me evolve into the person I am. They were magical times I want to look back fondly on but they are not the focus of my thoughts. Today is truly relevant.

I want to remember the people who touched me, who had significance, who loved me, guided me, nurtured me,  taught me, gave me direction, lighted my life in some way. I want to remember folks I met along the way, even the rude, stupid, unkind ones, as they too became a part of my learning journey. I am grateful to them all.

I want to remember the places that are repositories of activities, that were meeting points, that helped add color to my life. No place is my Neverland- all places I have lived in feel familiar and special-but the here of now is most relevant.

I want to remember special times, those little snapshots of memory that happened to happen and bring a warm glow to my insides when I think of them.

I want to remember some things that were special-books, movies, clothing, shoes, jewelry, vases and dishes, spoons and brooms- the detritus of life, the clutter around me –because they evoke the times, people and activities connected to them.

I want to remember the positivity of life, the blessedness of it all. It was my journey and I want to remember it with nostalgia, love, fondness.

I want to remember it as it was in that capsule of time. I want to create new capsules of time. I want to live and love in the present and be in the moment. This too shall be remembered